INFJ struggles with living in the present

Since focusing on the “present” during meditation, I believe I have come to an impasse. Not only have I been focusing more on the present, I have been experiencing more of the present. For the majority of my adult life, I have been preoccupied with anticipating what might happen in the future. I also get lost in my thoughts, as I run through random stories, and scenarios. Fictitious conversations, and events, that can be enjoyable and scary. I believe the motivation is two fold. I live in my mind partly because of who I am. I have a deep imagination, and it comes naturally to me. Also, I believe I have developed this way of thinking, possibly as a coping mechanism to help deal with the unforeseen issues in the world. possibly I use it as a way of perceiving future threats that I might be able to avoid, if I could only anticipate every given scenario in my mind, ahead of time. I know that I do not like surprises, and that my intuition loves piecing together random bits of information to make the big picture more visible to me.

What are the downsides of this way of thinking ? Well, I miss out on the present, with my mind always in the clouds. This is why the present interests me so much because it is a state of consciousness that I am oblivious to. It is a foreign concept to me. My intuition tells me that this topic should be analyzed much more. I had similar feelings when I stumbled upon key topics to my self growth such as: authenticity, and meditation.

What are the main benefits of living in the present ? I believe I have found that my problem solving skills have gotten better. The data that I use to objectively make decisions are more sound. Not that I am saying that I wont use my intuition anymore, actually it comes so naturally to me that I couldn’t avoid this part of my personality if I tried, but that the data that I use to make decisions is more truthful. Its more based off logic that my intuition, and senses have pulled in, and because of this the answers that I come up with are more grounded.  I have also found solace in realizing that I cannot know the future for sure. I might think I can, but nobody can. I have also realized that the present is the only time that I can actively affect change in my life. There is no other time. So if I want to get something done, or make a change in my life, it offers me an incentive to sit down and start making my dreams come true immediately. I guess that term “there is no better time than the present” rings true in my ears now.

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